i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
