Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
