imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
