I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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