I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
