Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
