his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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