Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
