Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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