Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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