Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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