What a fucking waste of an outfit
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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