Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
