I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
