we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Are my feet made of real feet?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
