yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Randomize
