Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
