And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
