When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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