thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
