it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
