I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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