my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
They have beer where we have blood.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
