I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
