Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
