She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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