no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
