nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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