Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
