Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
