Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
God I need to hump something, right now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
