I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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