sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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