Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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