he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Farmville is her only friend.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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