Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
His nipple licking is glorious
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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