A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Quick, to the slutcave!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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