My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
