i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
