i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
