is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
