in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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