I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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