if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
