I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
