When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
