Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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