these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
