It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
