kristin has been a bad kristin
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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