No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
