i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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