I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
not ubering you a puppy
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
