I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
